Effects of the end of November

tomorrow is the last day of november, and honestly, i'm pretty darn sad to see it go.I've had a grand November. A November that has changed a lot of things for me. A November that has made me realize some of my dreams and goals. A November that has made me

A NOVELIST!!!!

What November has done:

-made me realize the passion I have for the University of Texas at Austin

-forced me to appreciate my macbook to the highest extent

-given me tendonitis in my left hand

-given me 147 pages of pure happiness

-forced me to pound out 51,245 words

-made me want more than anything to be an author

-taught me to write despite bad days.

-made me create one really wretchedly bad piece of art

-gave me a rebound piece to remind myself I don't suck

-made me really, honestly proud of something

-at the same time made me incredibly embarassed about said something.

-taught me that sometimes, all creativity needs is a change in scenery.

-brought me the first baby to ever like me more than my sister

-taught me that sometimes, its better to let Whole Foods cater some of Thanksgiving and actually enjoy your time

-brought me to the threshold of creativity and forced me to push through it.

but most of all....

November gave me the first draft of my novel. The first draft of my baby.

Now, I enter the two week no touch-all think portion of the novel writing world. It's hard already. I miss my novel.

my. novel.

wow.

Sonnet #2

I sit in front of the screen and I think

How is it that i will kill off this one ?

These few last words may push me to the brink,

Isn't writing supposed to be just fun?

I'm having to face my characters now,

the ones i birthed and hold so near,

for now it is their turn to take a bow.

the things i planned for them are so severe

My favorite one will be the first to go.

But the killing part is just so tragic,

when saying my goodbyes to those i know.

If only i could just use some magic.

Procrastinating my climax is death,

it is leaving me a bit out of breath

One day.....

....this college thing will stop being stupid

....i will learn how to read a freaking website and stop making stupid mistakes

....a scholarship coorporation will actually give me some money

....i will step foot on a college campus and not have to go home

....i will stop having to miss him. . . all the time

....my friends will not have parents who treat me better than them

....i will finish this novel.

....i will have a wedding good enough to get on www.oncewed.com

....i will have good fashion

....i will probably move to a place where good fashion costs less

....i will be able to live on my own

....i will be interviewed on Ellen

....i will actually be a representative for the faith i claim

....i will begin to believe in myself

....i will exhibit in a real art gallery, with real artists.

....i will get out of Flower Mound and never look back.

....i will drive my car so far into west texas and spend the day just looking around and being artsy

....i will drive to Marfa.

....i will have just enough money not to stress about it.

.... i will know how the hell i'm going to pay for college.

luckily, tomorrow I'm headed to San Francisco. a much needed break